The Clarity Effect: When Kind Meets Clear

Nov 5

Last month, we talked about the tension leaders feel when trying to be both friendly and firm. It’s a familiar line to walk. You want to be approachable, but you also need to hold the bar high.

In a recent Leader’s Mindset program, that theme came up again. The shift wasn’t about being less kind. It was about being more clear.

What Leaders Discovered

Several leaders admitted they often avoided hard conversations in the name of being “collaborative.”

Through the lens of DiSC and mindset tools, they began to see how their natural style, whether friendly, analytical, or driven, shaped how their message was received. Good intentions weren’t always enough.

One leader captured their insights with DiSC beautifully:

Being clear on your own style removes confusion, reduces defensiveness, and builds trust faster than hard work ever could. By the time we reached the communication module, feedback conversations that once felt awkward were becoming faster, cleaner, and more constructive.

The Shift: From Vague to Specific

We introduced the SBII model (Situation, Behavior, Impact, Intent). This is a simple structure for feedback that replaces assumption with clarity. Developed by the Center for Creative Leadership, it helps leaders close the gap between what they intend and how they’re understood.

Situation: “In yesterday’s meeting…”
Behavior: “…you interrupted before your peer finished.”
Impact: “That made it hard for others to share ideas.”
Intent: “I know you’re passionate. Let’s try pausing next time so every voice is heard.”

Another great takeaway from this participant.

Within weeks, feedback that once felt awkward became a driver of accountability. (and bonus for this leader - less burnout!)

Conversations were quicker, cleaner, and less emotionally charged.

The Science Behind the Shift

Neuroscience tells us our brains crave certainty. When expectations are clear, the threat response quiets down. That’s why clarity isn’t just polite; it’s psychologically safe.

In SCARF terms, clarity feeds both certainty and relatedness, two factors that drive trust and motivation. Teams feel safer taking risks when they understand the parameters.